If you haven’t already watched Tiger King on Netflix, you’re probably a doctor or asleep because you have coronavirus. Pretty much everyone in the world (literally because we’re all homebound) is talking about the docu-series about an “exotic animal park” in Wynnewood, Oklahoma — mostly because it’s chockfull of absolute freaks, and I’m in love with all of them. While a lot of people (including King Princess) are obsessed with the park owner, Joe Exotic, there’s one character who I feel isn’t getting the attention they deserve: the lesbian, Kelci “Saff” Saffery. (Tons of spoilers ahead.)
Saff (who doesn’t explicitly say she’s a lesbian in the series, but if she isn’t at least a little queer, then I am an actual baby tiger) is the Andy King of this series. King, of course, is the guy who offered to suck dick for water bottles in the Fyre Festival documentary. As an employee at the exotic animal park, Saff forges close relationships with the tigers she takes care of. One day, she accidentally puts her arm in one of the tiger’s cages (instead of using a stick) and the tiger bites her arm almost completely off. Instead of losing her shit and running far away from this illegal meth-laden zoo, she tells the doctors to amputate her arm so she can get back to work sooner.
She’s back at the park within a few days, not weeks, DAYS. Even before she leaves the hospital, she releases a statement that Joe reads at a press conference, explaining that the incident was her fault, not the tiger’s, and she can’t wait to get back to work. She admits in the documentary that this was a PR move for the animal park. She didn’t want Joe or the others to looks bad, and for people to stop coming to see the tigers. She took one for the fucking team. And I think losing an arm to a tiger trumps offering to suck dick for Evian, but it’s really not a competition. We’re all winners here.
But seriously, she’s real cool and this documentary is incredible and if you haven’t watched it yet, congrats, you have hobbies other than binge watching hours of TV. Aren’t you fucking special?