I Made an Honest Mistake While Having Anonymous Sex

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Dear Andreus,

I am a bit of a control freak, and for that reason, I prefer anonymous sex.   In one of my escapades, something happened that has been troubling me. I slept with my best friends ex.  It was a darkroom, and he had on a hood. When I was leaving, he removed the hood right before I got out the door, and I caught a slight glimpse of his face.  This was not intentional, and I don’t know if I should tell my best friend or not. Any advice on this?


Peter G.

Dear Peter,

WHOA…. this is a new one for me! I can’t give you the perfect recipe for how to handle this situation, because that’s a very sticky scenario (no pun intended).  What I can say is, if it was an honest mistake, then you should not torment yourself. If it were me, I would probably tell my friend. I always stand behind honesty being the best policy.  However, only you can gauge whether your friend will understand what happened, or if it will destroy your friendship. This is a decision you must make, but only after giving complete thought to every possible outcome.  The very best of luck to you.

Dear Andreus,

I have been dating a guy for a year now and he recently revealed something to me that changes everything.  He told me that he was incarcerated for armed robbery, served his time and paid his debt to society. The issue for me is that he did not tell me when we first starting dating.  He told me that he withheld this information because he is used to being judged and labeled for a foolish decision driven by desperation. I don’t know what to do now, or if I should still be with him. What do you think?


Channing S.

Dear Channing,

I agree that something of that severity probably should have been brought up in the earlier stages of your relationship. However, now that you have this information, you must look at things from his perspective as well as your own.  Not taking sides with him, but people are judgmental. On the other hand, something like that needs to be said sooner than later. Now, what you must decide is how invested you are, and can you accept him for who he is, past mistakes and all.  None of us are perfect, and things happen. Now it’s about what is personally acceptable for you, and what is not. Make a list of pros and cons, and if the pros outweigh the cons, you have your answer.

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